Monday, July 30, 2007

Transparency

I believe the kindest thing you can do for a human being is to be honest with him. Be honest, be transparent and share your opinion. In my experience, people usually take honesty well -- they can handle it, despite my reservations. When I withhold honesty, it's because I don't trust my audience's judgment.

To paraphrase Camus, every dishonest act, every misleading or false opinion, over time, leads to death; in order to minimize the cruelty of this world, to refuse adding to the sum of all evil things, it is our duty to be honest.

I can write those words, and in most cases I believe in them. However, there are many times when I refuse to offer the truth, despite my conscious efforts to expose the truth. Ironically, this refusal occurs in my most-treasured relationships -- or, rather, in my relationships that are on the cusp between treasured and congenial. The word for that is cowardly, and today I am a coward.

In all cases, or if not all then most, once I open my mouth to speak, I am no longer a coward, before I even articulate my intent. In my view, this simple act of deciding to speak is the widest chasm to cross. It is also the most noble, the most courageous, and the most reasonable act. Although, I write this without justifiable reason; I take Camus' word for it -- a crime of philosophy, perhaps, but a practical starting point; Camus spent untold days grappling with such views, and it will take me untold more to form a basis upon which I can stand with my own novel (should I be so fortunate!) viewpoint.

I am committing such a non-transparent act in this mere blog entry. I am not mentioning a specific instance where I've been too cowardly to speak my mind. On the other hand, it is not my position to broadcast a person's name over the Internet (or upon whatever medium this is published in the future (ha!)). This blog is my own, and it is my public forum for associating thoughts with my name, but others' thoughts are their own, and they can decide whether they want to claim them by name. I am comfortable should you, dear reader, choose to broadcast my name in any honest fashion.

So, is there a limit to transparency? I'm forced to say yes, as evidenced by what I said above. However, this will eventually lead to death, apparently -- I don't see how. I can say for myself that I choose openness, that what encapsulates my thoughts is transparent, and that the curious need only to inquire. But, I believe everyone must make a similar choice for himself, and to choose openness for another human being is a way of force that I cannot justify (as force can so very rarely be justified).

But, when I am asked for my opinion, you will receive it, in kind. To sugarcoat it or make it politically correct is only to disrespect. At the same time, vulgarity and sarcasm are not the same as honesty; to be honest one must articulate unambiguously (which may involve ambiguity), and this takes many iterations and concentrated work. Because of this inherent difficulty, I hold it to be the greatest compliment one can give.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Can't think of a title

Creativity. "I am not creative." I'm not sure where that came from. I can recall as far back as first and second grade, regarding creativity.

In first grade, we had an assignment to make a drawing depicting what would happen if our heart were broken -- or what would cause our heart to be broken. I forget the occasion, but in the end we taped them up on our lockers, facing the known world. I told myself I knew well what the teacher had in mind -- we were supposed to conjure sketches of lost puppies, sick family members, and the like. I was uninspired by the assignment, so I took the question literally and stated, "If my heart were broken, I would be dead," and colored a picture of a cemetery -- I had seen a national cemetery from the Civil War on television, with its straight rows of crosses and stars of David, and that's what I drew.

In second grade, we were tasked with crafting a short story. It was to be at least a hand-written, grammar-school-lined page -- maybe more -- which was really long at the time. It could be on anything of our choosing. But, "I wasn't creative," so I said I couldn't come up with anything. After some prodding, I eventually wrote about some tigers and a waterfall, I believe, and, as a seven-year-old, considered the story trite and uninspiring. I probably got an A, which is usually what happened when I did anything in elementary school.

This pattern has continued through to the present day, and I think it is a manifestation of "I'm not good enough," my companion. What is creativity if not expression of opinion? It's saying, "this is where I stand, and this is how I'm expressing that stance." Creativity just happens as we exist. I have a history of believing my opinion has little -- if any -- worth. And as my position changes, as expression of opinion becomes a duty, creativity becomes possible -- or, more accurately, I recognize that creativity has always been there. When we are honest with ourselves, and when we share that without reservation or regret, we create works (and relationships) that perhaps remind us, with a greater clarity, why we love to live in the first place.

Friday, July 13, 2007

An introduction

A friend of mine once wrote, "No great work has ever been based on hatred or contempt. On the contrary, there is not a single true work of art that has not in the end added to the inner freedom of each person who has known and loved it. Yes, that is the freedom I am extolling, and it is what helps me through life. An artist may make a success or a failure of his work. He may make a success or a failure of his life. But if he can tell himself that, finally, as a result of his long effort, he has eased or decreased the various forms of bondage weighing upon men, then in a sense he is justified and, to some extent, he can forgive himself."

I'll be the first to note I have little experience with the harshness of this world. I've never walked the streets in poverty, gone hungry for a day, hid from the State, nor been forced to fight for my own survival. It has been a privilege to be in the position to share my thoughts.

On the other hand, I have about 24 years of experience with what I would describe as the mental anguish of being human -- something I believe we all have in common. Recently, I've stumbled upon a few things which have, in some ways, cut my angst deeper than usual.

First, let me say that I'm not sure of anything -- my arguments in general are weak, without substantial backing aside from my intellect, experience and feel on how things are going -- which in themselves are not very substantial; however, I think I'm intelligent, and that is good enough for me at this time.

I've been reading a lot of writings by Albert Camus, lately. Since late April, I've read The Rebel in its entirety, most of Resistance, Rebellion, and Death, and his essay, The Myth of Sisyphus. I had my reasons for being propelled into these works, and I'll get into that later.

For those who consider the contradictions of this world – for instance, that man strives for justice while acting with bountiful injustice; or, that we exalt freedom and liberty while building up the State, promoting methods of torture, fear and lies – I highly recommend his work. It resonates with who I am as a human being, and helps me articulate – at least mentally – a reasonable view of this world and an approach to living in its contradiction.

If societal life is a continuous fight for plain language, honesty and creation – which I believe it to be, then you've just read my introduction.

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Honesty and integrity

Today we look at the work 'agreement' I signed about 18 months ago with Artech Information Systems LLC, which I find to be deserving of contempt and scorn. Concisely, I see it as an attack on human dignity.

7. Exclusivity. During the term of this Agreement, Employee will devote his/her full-time to providing services exclusively as directed by Employer and shall not perform services for others.

8. Non-Performance of Services and Non-recruitment. During the term of this Agreement and for 18 months after the end of the employment relationship (whether Employer or Employee initiated the termination), Employee agrees that he/she shall not in any individual or representative capacity (e.g. as a principal, employer, stockholder, partner, agent, consultant, independent contractor, or employee): (a) directly or indirectly provide, solicit or advise another of the opportunity to provide, any services to a client where Employe previously provided services to the client on behalf of the Employer or was otherwise introduced through Employer; or (b) directly or indirectly, retain or solicit for Employee or for another party, the services of any of the Employer's employees or others introduced through the Employer. For purposes of this paragraph, "introduced through Employer" means where a client, employee, contractor, other individual came to the attention of Employee in any manner through Employer, "Client" includes any affiliates, customers or clients of the Client.

16. Breach. In the event of the Employee's breach of paragraphs 7, 8, 12, 13, or 14, Employee acknowledges and agrees that Employer will suffer irreparable harm and money damages would be an inadequate remedy, entitling Employer to seek injunctive relief. Employer's right to seek injunctive relief is without waiver or limitation to any other remedies Employer has at law or in equity.

17. Arbitation [sic]. Except for monetary claims of $5,000.00 or less, Employee explicitly agrees that any dispute in any manner related to Employee's employment with ARTECH, which the parties are unable to resolve through direct discussion, regardless of the kind or type of dispute (excluding claims for unemployment insurance, worker's compensation, or any matter within the jurisdiction of the Labor Commissioner), shall be exclusively subject to final and binding arbitration pursuant to the provisions of New Jersey Permanent Statutes section 2A:24-1, et seq. Employee agrees to submit all such disputes in writing, specifically requesting arbitration, to ARTECH within one year of termination of Employee's employment with ARTECH. Any failure to so request arbitration in a timely manner shall constitute a waiver of all rights to raise any claims, in any forum, arising out of any dispute that was subject to arbitration. The limitation period set forth in this paragraph shall not be subject to tolling, equitable or otherwise. Subch arbitration shall be held in Morristown, New Jersey.

EMPLOYEE AGREES AND UNDERSTAND [sic] THAT BY AGREEING TO THIS BINDING ARBITRATION PROVISION, EMPLOYEE VOLUNTARY [sic] SURRENDER THEIR RIGHTS TO CIVIL LITIGATION, A TRIAL BY JURY AND ANY ASSOCIATED RIGHTS OF APPEAL.

17. Other Provisions. This Agreement and any attached exhibits, represent the entire agreement of the parties and supersedes and terminates all prior agreements. Any modification of this Agreement must be in writing and signed by both parties. No waiver of any provision of this Agreement shall be effective unless it is in writing and signed by the waiving party; a waiver on any one occasion shall not be effective as a waiver on future occasions. This Agreement shall inure to the benefit of and shall be binding on the parties, the successors and assigns of Employer and the heirs and personal representatives of Employee. Employee may not assign his rights or obligations under this Agreement. Paragraphs 8, 12, and 14 shall survive termination. If any provision of this Agreement is determined to be unenforceable in whole or in part, all remaining provisions shall be given full effect to the extent possible without the unenforceable provision. This Agreement shall be governed by the laws of the State of New Jersey without regard to choice of law principles.