Direction

Let's start with the sun. It creates all the energy we use on our planet. Sure, add background radiation; I guess. And, add the heat from the core; ok. All the energy.

Next, we have life on Earth, which, over time, works toward using all the energy in the most efficient manner possible.

Where do we fit in this pattern? Where does our consciousness fit?

A pattern of the universe is to become increasingly better at predicting itself. The beings that are better at prediction – predicting where food will be, or how to get food while saving energy, or how not to get hurt – are more likely to survive over time.

And, with chaos, the unpredictable, a species must be ready with different behaviors, conscious or not, to continually succeed, as a species, over time.

Where does this leave the individual person? His role is to survive, to increase the diversity of the group. But how should he survive? He could act naturally. He could question his nature, to consciously increase the diversity of the group. Or perhaps his natural way of being is enough for this purpose.

His consciousness has the ability to affect the behavior of the group, in the present and in the future – possibly for many generations. And what is his duty? Is it to make things the same, or different? Is it to increase complexity, to increase the diversity to a point where integration becomes necessary, while preserving the original diversity within the integrated group, at which point diversification becomes necessary once more, to increase complexity again?

At what point does our ability to predict the future cause the universe to become more unpredictable, and is there an end pattern, one of cyclical balance, eventually becoming a dance between prediction and chaos? This is a problem for our children, perhaps.

With our consciousness, the universe is experiencing itself. Our diversity of thought moves the universe toward experiencing itself in every possible way. What is our role in this, as individuals? With our energy, is it best to do what feels natural? Is the natural way the most efficient way of thinking?

As we learn the complexity of our subconscious minds and how we can shape our autonomous behavior, when do we purposefully move our consciousness out of our non-conscious way? Is it more efficient, over time, to purposefully question and disrupt the natural way of thought? And to what end? Is there a need for chaos in our thought process? How much chaos should exist within one individual?

What role does boredom play? Boredom feels undesirable, yet we need to predict our future, and as our ability to predict increases, so does our boredom. If we accept our boredom as our experience, are we doing the universe a disservice, content in the way things are, and thus more susceptible to death by chaos? If we reject our boredom, do we leave behind a wasteland of discarded projects and lives? Should we apply our boredom to improve what we have while keeping what we had?

The universe wants us to consider the long view – we can, after all. With age, this idea becomes dangerous for the conscious individual. What do we make of it? What are the roles of chaos and prediction? And in each moment, which do we choose? Do we choose? And is there a difference between each choice?

We have our morality, which was given to us by our ancestors, the ones who survived the droughts. We have different sensitivities. If one's sensitivities are too different, the group will limit the choices of the one. Does this limitation make a difference?

If one's writing becomes too strange, erring on the side of chaos and the unpredictable, will the writer be silenced by the group? Will the silence make a difference? Or will the writer silence himself?

Labor day

Being lost is the only way to be. If you're not lost Feeling lost is Being lost is the only way to be. How can we avoid it, being humans as we are? Our collective memory is an afterthought of the universe. In four generations, where will you be? In forty-thousand generations, will there be any of us left? In 40 million generations, what will we have left to say? Is 40 As we worry about the rat race, our spark of consciousness remains short and frg fragile. To what end do we work? Our creation has been successful We've already won. We're here.

So now what? The universe provides little answers. History tells us that we are going to die, that people will forget who we are, and continue to struggle, as they live focused on their lives. What we have are our lives; perhaps all we can do is celebrate that, and confront those who and work to limit its destruction. Of course, I am referring to all of us our lives, not merely the few who are reading these words. Where do we want to live? We can make that place – that is the task of the modern person, to be deliberate, because it is an option now.

And then we'll leave, whether or not we do what we set out to do. It is our destiny to struggle with this world and these brains, and that is all. Whether we have a choice to be lost is not in our hands, we simply are.

As we attempt to conquer a universe that has already conquered us, we search for constants that help us forget our enslavement; and this is who we are all we can find is what the universe has given us – our morality, our drive to live one more day.

And so, do what you want. The universe has us, and owes us nothing. Most of the people we meet don't tend to think in those terms I propose we do what we can to end suffering. , starting with its worst forms We will not succeed. but we will live, So what.

What politics gives us

It is almost foolish to argue directly with culture. To solve a cultural problem within a generation, or even within a lifetime, is a daunting task. Perhaps our challenge, then, is how to use culture to our advantage, to flip a situation.

Perhaps hard, cultural problems can be addressed through our moral foundations, helping us move forward.

An idea must be accepted locally if it is to become a long-term change, but it does not need to begin there. The government can use our moral foundation of authority to help an idea take root. Yet, the path taken by our government is an unsteady, sometimes backwards one.

Out of a frustration with the government, apolitical movements are born. We try to ignore the authority of the government, but we will set up a new authority, as it is our moral nature as people, and nothing has changed.

Being apolitical in itself is not wrong, but it might be helpful to recognize the authority dynamics that are taking place, and what process rules the group. That is, when we form a group, we need to ask ourselves, what is driving the culture? How is the culture defined, and under what authority?

It is important to understand what politics gives us – moral authority – and how it operates, depending on the system of government. I suggest that without a moral authority in place in our groups, nothing can happen.

To explore this idea of authority, think of policies. What do policies do for our companies? They try to communicate what's important to our leaders, what our priorities are. Without them, a smart individual can get by, even flourish, but a group without a policy slowly becomes bogged down with the overhead of getting on the same page, so to speak.

Getting on the same page requires a finding a common authority, whoever or whatever that may be.

To explore this idea further, replace "government" with "religion," above.

Daylight

People are figuring it out every night. Over wine, over cocktails, over a few beers. Peace is found, with friends, with our kin. We are made this way. Outside of this environment, in the daylight, we struggle. This has been noted many times, with much worry and anxiety. Still, we can write in the warm candlelight of a bar, and all is well.

The "wise" often tell us we're struggling because we are doing it wrong. We are the enemy. But where does that leave us, besides doubting our humanity? I have been told to doubt myself for thirty years, and I have tried to oblige. Today, I see little reason to continue.

Doubt – the notion that we should refrain from doing – leads to doing nothing. We need something to guide us, something to do. Our doubt leads to our inaction; the action of others, however ill-informed, fills the void. Only a positive suggestion can lead to something.

Still, on the whole, we do in fact struggle. We commit crimes against each other. We hurt each other. We build glass ceilings. This is true. Why is that? Why is progress so difficult?

What are we doing to change? In our nights and weekends, we are in love with our harmless TV shows. We are reading our celebrity gossip and our sports dramas. We are hiking and dancing, finding a release, a distraction that we desperately need. What we do is necessary; it is the follow-through to our days.

As we acknowledge our need for release, what we need to change becomes obvious:

Our days.

How do we even begin?

Why I started meditating

My neighbor asked me to take a meditation class with her, and I said yes. I'd been curious about it for some time, but I was concerned I'd lose touch with my friends, and society in general, becoming unable to relate with people, as mystics, hippies, and advocates often appear.

I'd been battling with the concepts of emptiness, a lack of intrinsic meaning, and the absurd for about six years. At the beginning of this struggle, a friend suggested I read The Myth of Sisyphus by Camus. This lead to The Rebel, and to Resistance, Rebellion & Death.

I found Camus' argument enticing. For me, he basically said, "Yeah, so there are these notions like emptiness, and they're powerful, and I believe they are real, and to that I say, 'fuck off, I get it,' and we have a choice here so let's create what we want and let's want something good and let's enjoy it."

Yet, the method for living this way proved elusive. Aiming high, I started a business to end war. It was hard. I grew tired. Burned out, I started an organization for swing dancing, a seemingly trivial matter. I read all of the books on creating successful teams.

I began searching for ways to defeat the passion-to-burnout cycle, with a focus on group dynamics. Perhaps an answer is to deliberately create a culture. This search was primarily an internal one, and continued that way for a couple years.

In 2011, Willpower by Baumeister & Tierney hit the shelves. By itself, it helps us understand the importance of snack time. More importantly, it was a gateway into the new wave of cognitive psychology books. I was learning how to change the habits of my body, and how to guide an organization by learning what works for people, and I was very excited about it.

After a year of this, I met my neighbor, who had just moved in. She invited me to a community event that had a jazz band, a dance floor, a local-farm-made meal, and a psychology talk by a university professor. Yes, please.

It turned out that this professor, who was talking about habits and the latest research, has been studying Buddhism for the last 25 years, and was teaching a university class on meditation. At the same time, my yoga-teaching neighbor was putting together a pranayama course, and traveling to other cities to study Dharma; most days, we would walk to a coffee stand and talk about it.

I want to do something. I suppose that's what made me start looking into all this stuff.

Perhaps more, I've wanted to be a good person for as long as I can remember. And a good person does something important, I've perceived. But what's important? And if it's important, why aren't we there already?

And this desire to be good is probably just built into my brain, near my ears, because that's where it fit, when my ancestors needed to be good to survive the drought.

And before that. Of course. The start.

World view

FUCK THIS IF ONLY YOU COULD SEE THE BEAUTY IN THIS PLACE
AND GO JUST GO TO THE END AND SEE IT JUST TO SEE IT IF YOU
COULD AND WHAT'S THERE IF YOU REALLY LOOK AND GIVE A SHIT
ABOUT YOUR BROTHER AND YOUR FATE AND YOUR LOVE AND
YOUR EVERYTHING BECAUSE THAT'S ALL THERE IT IS HERE YOU ME
AND THIS DIRT ALWAYS ALWAYS AND WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU
WANT FROM IT SO JUST GO BE THAT ALREADY AND FIGURE IT OUT
AND LIVE FOR FUCK'S SAKE GOD OH MY GOD PLEASE I LOVE YOU
ALL AND STILL WE ARE HERE IN THE MUD TRYING TO FUCKING
CLAW OUR BLOODY HANDS OUT OF THIS HISTORY AND FOR WHAT
TO DO IT ALL AGAIN AND TO FIND NOTHING AND TURN IT INTO
SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL SO GO BUT WE'RE STILL STUCK IN THE
EARTH AND THESE BRAINS AND THESE RULES FOR THE TIME BEING
AND IT'S PERFECT SO FUCK YOU YOU MAKE SOMETHING THAT CAN
KNOW ITSELF JUST GO JUST GO JUST GO JOIN ME LET'S GO I LOVE
YOU AND WE'RE HERE AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS SO LET'S HELP
THE SEVEN FUCKING BILLION PEOPLE JOIN US HOLY SHIT WHAT DO
YOU WANT THIS IS WHAT WE ARE I CAN'T LOVE YOU MORE THAN
THIS I CAN'T BECAUSE I TRIED AND I CRIED FOR DAYS

Prelude, one of many

Thoughts on writing: With much reading, there comes a desire to write. The head becomes full, and a need to share, reiterate, and convey a sense of worth – and time well-spent – is felt with increasing frequency.

There is much madness in this place, when observed with the perspective of a strict logician foolish logician.

We've been here for a while, but allow me to comment on our present day.

Who are you? To whom am I writing? I am writing for myself, it seems. I am writing with the hope to find people I would enjoy spending time with, now and in the future, perhaps even after my death. After all, and to perhaps give my own And I am writing with the hope that it will give me strength; it will help me remember the things that were important to me, and inspire provide me with some purpose on my terms, or at least the as much as that can be true (how dramatic! alas, for health)., as they say).

Writing is as noble I believe writing with something to say is a noble – and

In the march of history, I would like to take part, to play some role with some use.

We are at such. an. interesting. time. that it seems tragic to not see what's at the other end, to see where this goes, with passion and drive. What are we waiting for??? What do we have to see, or be told? Do we have to be given permission to do something with what we've been blessed? to bring people up, out of the slums, to share the experience of this world outside of death and poverty war and poverty. With this at my side, I write.